It’s only just the beginning

So I am in Canada for the first time in my life and apart from it being french, at least where I am, I feel very comfortable if not to say home. Not only has my world done a 360 and put me from Australian summer to Canadian winter but it also put me back into the arms of the woman I want to be with.

Thankfully to the Wright brothers we are now able to fly around this planet in less than 24 hours. Man, it is truly amazing, we can sit in a chair in the air and watch movies and even get some sort of “food” at the altitude of around 10 km.

Take that in… why does no one clap anymore when we land?

Anyway, Canada showed off with all the amazing colours in Autumn and I was practising my camera skills.

AutumnTrees.jpg

So what happened you wonder?

Well the story continues and Lysanne and I are back together and it even seems that our relationship is stronger than before.

After all, letting go only made room for new ways of being together, yes it was hard at times going through the pain of being alone again, but finally after I accepted it, it did a u-turn.

Quite a dramatic one, I have to add. Even though Lys had decided to go back home and do her own thing we were still very much in contact at the time and that was something we both didn’t really want because it just makes a break up so much harder to process, but hey there was always love and who wants to be alone anyway?

After a while it just became too hard for me and so I called it off again. This time it took, maybe a week until she called me again, but there was a shake in her voice that told me something wasn’t right.

She had a car accident with her brother driving and luckily even though the car was a ride off, no one got injured during the accident. It was quite a traumatic experience and it made her realise that she wanted to spend her life with me. Surround herself with the people that she cares and loves and so she asked me if I was willing to come and see her in Canada.

Guess what I answered?

Sad that we have to have almost a death near experience to realise what we actually want out of life. But in a twisted weird way I am glad that this accident happened otherwise I may still be in Australia.

And so the love story continues and hopefully never ends.

Now it comes down to me figuring a way out to stay in Canada for at least a couple of month a year and also make an income happening. There are so many things out there and luckily we live in a day and age where online income is not out of reach at all.

I am about to head back to Australia and will take the time to set myself up, so that I can spend more time in Canada with my beautiful girlfriend and work on my photography skills… Ciao for now, Hendrik

IMG_7526.jpg

Please leave a comment below, if you have any questions or suggestions I am always happy to answer them here. Thanks for reading

Send me back to Canada

A$10.00

Advertisements

Where am I now?

Woowza, timezone change and sleep pattern is screwed up! Why you ask?

Well if you have been following my blog, you most likely have discovered that it was a lot about heartbreak and growth. Becoming a better version of myself why also processing a break up that wasn’t for seen and has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

Not necessarily in a bad way, well it just isn’t always easy, this life of ours and the relationships that come with it.

Anyway, so I am in Canada right now. Boom!

pexels-photo-417074

I have met up with this woman of mine. She wrote on her last letter to me that she loves me and that we will see each other again. This seemed far fetched for me, because I just couldn’t see it at the time (3 month ago now), since I guess I was also using my logic brain to figure things out.
It works perfect sometimes and other times its better to leave the logic brain at home.

Anyway, trust in it, is what she said! So i tried.

It’s quite amazing what the universe can move for you, if only you know what you want and are clear about it.

Well, here I am in the land of maple sirup and moose and bears, which so far I have only seen maple sirup, oh and red dear!!!! Its a very beautiful country from what I can tell after 3 days of being here and I was lucky enough to arrive at just the right time in autumn for when the leaves turn red and yellow and then they drop. This sometimes happens within a couple of days. But I got some good photos I think. I will post them later, since I forgot the camera cable at home.

What now you ask? Now it is the time to connect with the land and its people and particularly with my woman. Will I move here, will we move somewhere else or what is going to happen. First of all we need to trust in the situation and I think from where we have come from, with deportation and travelling half the world, man there is much more exciting stuff ahead of us.

Isn’t this amazing? We have this massive planet and yet it’s become such a small playground for some of us.

I have friends all over the world and it takes maximum a day to fly there and visit them.

pexels-photo-91217

So this love story isn’t over yet, which I am very happy about.

I guess the moral of this story is that no matter what happens if it is meant to happen it will happen, even though it is hard to see at times and maybe impossible for the mind to figure out but sometimes life changing circumstances ( like a car accident)  have to happen to bring you back to your loved ones. Oh yeah, that happened, luckily no one got injured just a big shock and a wake up call. So yeah the universe has interesting ways to bring you back together, so trust in it, trust in yourself and follow the pass of love and least resistance.

On that note, ciao for now,

 

Hendrik

 

Things I want to do with you

You are not here yet I feel loved. I wake up and have a glimpse of your eyes in my mind just the moment before I really get out of bed. I turn around to stay in that moment a little longer, just another second.

I want to meditate with you and do yoga after, then start the day with a nice breakfast and a good conversation with you. Only you talk the way you do to me, with that little accent of yours that just makes me melt away.

I want to hold your hand just for a while feel your fingers between mine becoming one with each others hand until I don’t know which fingers are mine.

I want to walk through the bush with you and hear the birds sing there songs, only then I am present.

Make a fire and play the drums while you look me in the eyes like you can see my soul sing, with such love.

I am coming back to you, to be with you one last time and forever eternity.

No more fear based decision, just throw ourselves into the wild and unknown beauty of love and let it unfold from the seed to the flower it is and back to the seed.

We are so powerful when in alignment, we can move mountains or we can fly through the air and land where we are wanted. No expectations just acceptance for that is what makes your heart sigh and breathe in relief.

I don’t search for I have found the seeker within.

I feel complete being incomplete.

How is it that when you take a final decision and in our case break something off, it brings you back together quicker than ever expected? It just shows that by holding onto something or someone you don’t allow space to be and to create the change that is needed for life to flourish.

So let go and be free my friends.

Ciao for now, HendrikIMG_7246

I miss her

pexels-photo-230986

It’s been two weeks since I broke up with you, but it’s been a lot longer since I haven’t held you in my arms. I am trying to forget you, but I know that the distractions are just temporary flashes of a reality that isn’t mine. There is beautiful women everywhere but I am out of the game… I don’t want to play this anymore.

My friend is here for a visit and I am showing him the pubs and bars and places to go to in the area. I used to love going out on a Friday night and chatting up girls and seeking for attention, but something has changed in me and I find it rather dull and sad to go out and hold a cold drink in my hands while we are surrounded by strangers smoking, yelling, laughing and then you are supposed to talk any sense. It just feels like a big false world in there and I had enough of it.

In a way I am very grateful for that because it really shows that I have moved on from a place I used to be addicted to, to a place in my heart that feels like I no longer want to be here. (the pub)

Lately I have been keeping myself so busy that I allowed no time to feel my breakup! I feel happy and I have amazing days here from organising my life with a new car and planning on doing markets, all of that I still do because I hope it can bring us back together. I am always thinking, if only I had a lot more money I would be free.

But would I be free?

Is this just my ego tricking me into believing there is a destination to this life?

There isn’t, its one biiiiiig journey. But then logic brain kicks in: ” actually if i had a lot more money I can go and see her for a while I can live in different parts of the world without having to work, I could see my family who I haven’t visited in too long now , I can go and see my grandma before she departs from this dream.”

So does it all just come down to money? Well not really, she broke up with me first and we had the chance to start something together in a new country. Was our love not strong enough? Is it just another addiction of not wanting to be alone?

This is head talk and it can drive me absolutely nuts…

How do I get out of it you ask?

Sometimes I don’t, sometimes I am so caught up in it that it seems like I have to make a final decision between life and death.

Then I kick my ego out of my mind when I see a glimpse of hope and then I try and sit with the discomfort that life throws you at times. I meditate or go kitesurfing. I see my neighbours baby or chat with my friends. I am good in general but I am also bad.

I miss her…

 

Holding on to both worlds

pexels-photo (1)

Sometimes in life we have to make decisions that seem hard and painful almost crazy if you ask me. I don’t want to leave this habit of mine, it has served me so well in the past… “Hmm yeah but you have moved on you are grown out of it”.

It could just be eating too much chocolate, guilty!

So why do we for example hold on to friends that no longer serve us as friends?

Yes we may have had a great connection once upon a time, but people change. If you are holding on to the old you are not making room for the new. Whether it be a relationship that no longer is of value to you or a friend who keeps making nasty jokes about you and still you keep having him/her around because you don’t want to be alone.

Cut it out!

But aren’t you more alone with someone that makes you feel empty or even hurt. Let it go and allow new space in. The new can come and wow, if it brings up all these emotions of not wanting to be alone or of recognition then let it come and just accept it.

Thanks for reading and like always leave a comment and subscribe for more wisdom from the elevator.

Ciao for now, Hendrik

It’s not over

So I got this story to tell you,

I am in love with a beautiful woman, who is courages and strong, who is sexy and smart and we are the perfect match for each other. We met here in Australia, at Wategos Beach and it all moved pretty quick from there. I guess you know it when you know it!

Sometimes we thought argh, we are almost too similar, same or similar issues that we have to deal with in our life but it just flowed beautifully until the Australian government kicked her out of the country! I know working on a tourist visa doesn’t look to good, but how can you survive living in such an expensive country for several month without having to work? You have to be f..ing loaded.

Oh well, we thought let this just be a challenge for the love that we have for each other and so it was. We decided on going to NZ since it was close to my home and according to customs it was also possible for her to come to NZ and live and work legally. So after 3 month of just skyping and talking on the phone we thought we will meet again in Auckland. I ended up getting some work as a kitesurf instructor and flew back to Australia to pick up the rest of my belongings. Ready for the new adventure being with my woman in a new country.

The day finally came were she arrived to Auckland and as I was waiting at the airport, I was getting nervous that something wasn’t quite right. She should have walked through the gate by now. Finally after an hour or so of waiting I got a phone call from my woman from the other side of the gate. She was weeping and I just ended up on my ass when I heard that they refused to let her in and will send her home on the next plane. Not to Canada this time, just to San Francisco. It was devastating news and at that moment I wasn’t sure what the universe was trying to tell us. Anyway I thought stay strong tell her not to worry and be sure that we will make it work some other way.

She flew back to San Francisco and stayed there for two more weeks while I sold most of my belongings and packed a backpack to meet her in Thailand.

Thailand it was and finally after almost 4 month we could hold each other in our arms again. She picked me up in Phuket and we made our way to Koh Lanta to spend a month together on the Island. I remember walking out of customs in Phuket and seeing my woman there waiting for me. Seeing her there was the best thing in the world. It felt like I was whole again and the part of me that was missing is finally back.

We spend an amazing month on Koh Lanta and had some great insides about our relationship and just pure innocent love for each other.

We decided to carry on with our journey and a couple of month later we found ourselves in Sri Lanka. I was again working as a kitesurf instructor and she worked as a yoga teacher. Everything seemed like it was heading the right direction, next stop europe and there we can start our life together. We would get a job and work towards living in Australia together. But she had different plans and the fact that we had to start somewhere completely new didn’t sit well with her.

Now she is going back to Canada and starts completely new on her own! Yeah I guess there is some family there to support her and there is also a country that supports her, but the love of her life isn’t. (If I am ?)

I had to do what I had to do and call it off after she did once before and then changed her mind again from break up to just a break to wanting to be with me again. I guess this whole story shows that love has no boundaries and sometimes even though you meet your soulmate, you might still end up on your own. I do believe that if we are meant to be together we will be together, but putting so much pressure on one another just to be with someone doesn’t feel fair on both levels. I miss her and I love her but I have to let her go. This is probably one of the hardest things I have done in my life and I really hope that the universe will lead us together in a different way. You just have to trust I guess and let it be.

Back to my normal posts again soon…Me and Lys

Ciao for now.

Lightbulb

pexels-photo-355988

Man how I love these moments where you have an insight about your life, someone just picks you up on something and you realise, damn is that what is wrong with me?

Well first of all nothing is wrong with me, I am perfect the way I am, but you know what I mean, there is always room for improvement. We are here to evolve into the amazing beings that we are. Let’s grow together. Continue reading “”