What if I don’t do it?

What if I would have not followed my heart?

What if I would have stayed at home? How could my life be different? Well you will never know until you try.

Is it scary, yes for sure. Is the reward amazing?

Most likely. You don’t know until you have tried it and I highly encourage anyone that is not happy with the job they are in or the unfulfilled marriage the live, to listen to their heart and do the only thing that is worth doing.

Follow your dreams and fuck it. Just go for it, worst case scenario you get another shitty job you don’t like but you will never know what could have been if you didn’t try.

So fuck it, jump into the deep end and go for it. Life is too short to be doing things you don’t like.

Will it take discipline and hard work and dedication? Yep, but if you are in alignment with yourself it will also come very playful and with ease.

Was there ever any doubt to go to Canada?

Not on my side, but I had a few guys that seemed very concerned about my decision to go to Canada. I could only say, don’t worry I can only win in this situation, whether it is just a trip to Canada or actually a reunion and a new start with my lady.

I am sorry to disappoint the nay sayer’s but it was even more than a reunion and an amazing trip. It was a kick in my own ass not living in fear and worrying but trusting my heart and following it.

I still struggle in certain areas with that, but not when it comes to Lysanne!

So happy and excited for the future,

Ciao for now, Hendrik.

 

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It’s only just the beginning

So I am in Canada for the first time in my life and apart from it being french, at least where I am, I feel very comfortable if not to say home. Not only has my world done a 360 and put me from Australian summer to Canadian winter but it also put me back into the arms of the woman I want to be with.

Thankfully to the Wright brothers we are now able to fly around this planet in less than 24 hours. Man, it is truly amazing, we can sit in a chair in the air and watch movies and even get some sort of “food” at the altitude of around 10 km.

Take that in… why does no one clap anymore when we land?

Anyway, Canada showed off with all the amazing colours in Autumn and I was practising my camera skills.

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So what happened you wonder?

Well the story continues and Lysanne and I are back together and it even seems that our relationship is stronger than before.

After all, letting go only made room for new ways of being together, yes it was hard at times going through the pain of being alone again, but finally after I accepted it, it did a u-turn.

Quite a dramatic one, I have to add. Even though Lys had decided to go back home and do her own thing we were still very much in contact at the time and that was something we both didn’t really want because it just makes a break up so much harder to process, but hey there was always love and who wants to be alone anyway?

After a while it just became too hard for me and so I called it off again. This time it took, maybe a week until she called me again, but there was a shake in her voice that told me something wasn’t right.

She had a car accident with her brother driving and luckily even though the car was a ride off, no one got injured during the accident. It was quite a traumatic experience and it made her realise that she wanted to spend her life with me. Surround herself with the people that she cares and loves and so she asked me if I was willing to come and see her in Canada.

Guess what I answered?

Sad that we have to have almost a death near experience to realise what we actually want out of life. But in a twisted weird way I am glad that this accident happened otherwise I may still be in Australia.

And so the love story continues and hopefully never ends.

Now it comes down to me figuring a way out to stay in Canada for at least a couple of month a year and also make an income happening. There are so many things out there and luckily we live in a day and age where online income is not out of reach at all.

I am about to head back to Australia and will take the time to set myself up, so that I can spend more time in Canada with my beautiful girlfriend and work on my photography skills… Ciao for now, Hendrik

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Please leave a comment below, if you have any questions or suggestions I am always happy to answer them here. Thanks for reading

Send me back to Canada

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Where am I now?

Woowza, timezone change and sleep pattern is screwed up! Why you ask?

Well if you have been following my blog, you most likely have discovered that it was a lot about heartbreak and growth. Becoming a better version of myself why also processing a break up that wasn’t for seen and has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

Not necessarily in a bad way, well it just isn’t always easy, this life of ours and the relationships that come with it.

Anyway, so I am in Canada right now. Boom!

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I have met up with this woman of mine. She wrote on her last letter to me that she loves me and that we will see each other again. This seemed far fetched for me, because I just couldn’t see it at the time (3 month ago now), since I guess I was also using my logic brain to figure things out.
It works perfect sometimes and other times its better to leave the logic brain at home.

Anyway, trust in it, is what she said! So i tried.

It’s quite amazing what the universe can move for you, if only you know what you want and are clear about it.

Well, here I am in the land of maple sirup and moose and bears, which so far I have only seen maple sirup, oh and red dear!!!! Its a very beautiful country from what I can tell after 3 days of being here and I was lucky enough to arrive at just the right time in autumn for when the leaves turn red and yellow and then they drop. This sometimes happens within a couple of days. But I got some good photos I think. I will post them later, since I forgot the camera cable at home.

What now you ask? Now it is the time to connect with the land and its people and particularly with my woman. Will I move here, will we move somewhere else or what is going to happen. First of all we need to trust in the situation and I think from where we have come from, with deportation and travelling half the world, man there is much more exciting stuff ahead of us.

Isn’t this amazing? We have this massive planet and yet it’s become such a small playground for some of us.

I have friends all over the world and it takes maximum a day to fly there and visit them.

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So this love story isn’t over yet, which I am very happy about.

I guess the moral of this story is that no matter what happens if it is meant to happen it will happen, even though it is hard to see at times and maybe impossible for the mind to figure out but sometimes life changing circumstances ( like a car accident)  have to happen to bring you back to your loved ones. Oh yeah, that happened, luckily no one got injured just a big shock and a wake up call. So yeah the universe has interesting ways to bring you back together, so trust in it, trust in yourself and follow the pass of love and least resistance.

On that note, ciao for now,

 

Hendrik

 

Things I want to do with you

You are not here yet I feel loved. I wake up and have a glimpse of your eyes in my mind just the moment before I really get out of bed. I turn around to stay in that moment a little longer, just another second.

I want to meditate with you and do yoga after, then start the day with a nice breakfast and a good conversation with you. Only you talk the way you do to me, with that little accent of yours that just makes me melt away.

I want to hold your hand just for a while feel your fingers between mine becoming one with each others hand until I don’t know which fingers are mine.

I want to walk through the bush with you and hear the birds sing there songs, only then I am present.

Make a fire and play the drums while you look me in the eyes like you can see my soul sing, with such love.

I am coming back to you, to be with you one last time and forever eternity.

No more fear based decision, just throw ourselves into the wild and unknown beauty of love and let it unfold from the seed to the flower it is and back to the seed.

We are so powerful when in alignment, we can move mountains or we can fly through the air and land where we are wanted. No expectations just acceptance for that is what makes your heart sigh and breathe in relief.

I don’t search for I have found the seeker within.

I feel complete being incomplete.

How is it that when you take a final decision and in our case break something off, it brings you back together quicker than ever expected? It just shows that by holding onto something or someone you don’t allow space to be and to create the change that is needed for life to flourish.

So let go and be free my friends.

Ciao for now, HendrikIMG_7246

I see your curls in my dreams short and golden they bounce in the sunset over the ocean. Feeling your arms rapped around my shoulders hold me tight, hold me tight this might be our last night. 

You never know when it’s gonna end so enjoy every moment well spent and be the light that you are since we are galaxies within stars. 

Maybe one day we wake up from this dream called life and wonder what the fuss was all about? 

Reunited with all and non. 

Until then let’s be the sun. My unborn sons and daughters, don’t make the same mistakes I did be new and free and stay off the grid. Shine like only you can shine, grow like only you can grow. 

This is the therapy that I take, I let it out don’t care if it’s fake get a rake and shake a leg. I’m done for today hurray. 

P.s.: just do what feels right and be happy. 

Hope you enjoy 

Ciao for now, hendrik 

The Poem of the eternal Soul

pexels-photo-110854The poem of the eternal soul

I am in love with all of you

no judgment,

I know we are all going to be free one day, that we have in common.

Looking for who you are… trying not to get lost in the cosmic bar

where the drinks taste like heaven and the lights are dimmed.

No fights,

Just bliss and freedom

 

I miss her

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It’s been two weeks since I broke up with you, but it’s been a lot longer since I haven’t held you in my arms. I am trying to forget you, but I know that the distractions are just temporary flashes of a reality that isn’t mine. There is beautiful women everywhere but I am out of the game… I don’t want to play this anymore.

My friend is here for a visit and I am showing him the pubs and bars and places to go to in the area. I used to love going out on a Friday night and chatting up girls and seeking for attention, but something has changed in me and I find it rather dull and sad to go out and hold a cold drink in my hands while we are surrounded by strangers smoking, yelling, laughing and then you are supposed to talk any sense. It just feels like a big false world in there and I had enough of it.

In a way I am very grateful for that because it really shows that I have moved on from a place I used to be addicted to, to a place in my heart that feels like I no longer want to be here. (the pub)

Lately I have been keeping myself so busy that I allowed no time to feel my breakup! I feel happy and I have amazing days here from organising my life with a new car and planning on doing markets, all of that I still do because I hope it can bring us back together. I am always thinking, if only I had a lot more money I would be free.

But would I be free?

Is this just my ego tricking me into believing there is a destination to this life?

There isn’t, its one biiiiiig journey. But then logic brain kicks in: ” actually if i had a lot more money I can go and see her for a while I can live in different parts of the world without having to work, I could see my family who I haven’t visited in too long now , I can go and see my grandma before she departs from this dream.”

So does it all just come down to money? Well not really, she broke up with me first and we had the chance to start something together in a new country. Was our love not strong enough? Is it just another addiction of not wanting to be alone?

This is head talk and it can drive me absolutely nuts…

How do I get out of it you ask?

Sometimes I don’t, sometimes I am so caught up in it that it seems like I have to make a final decision between life and death.

Then I kick my ego out of my mind when I see a glimpse of hope and then I try and sit with the discomfort that life throws you at times. I meditate or go kitesurfing. I see my neighbours baby or chat with my friends. I am good in general but I am also bad.

I miss her…